


Whiskey and Lime

by Rangerskirt



Series: Mixed Drinks [1]
Category: Red Dead Redemption (Video Games)
Genre: Age Difference, Arthur Whump, Asshole Dutch, Both good and bad kinds, Bottom Arthur, Brief Sex, Child Abuse, Enemies to Lovers, First Kiss, Hosea is a good dad, M/M, Non gang John Marston, Older!John, Open Ending, Rape/Non-con Elements, Thoughts of Suicide, Top John, Western, Young!ARTHUR, but happy ending, no TB
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-08
Updated: 2019-05-08
Packaged: 2020-02-28 16:31:23
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 12,512
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18760180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Rangerskirt/pseuds/Rangerskirt
Summary: When a strange man shows up at Horshoe Overlook ready to blackmail the Van der Linde gang just as they're starting to get back on their feet they have little to no choice but to let him take young Arthur as collateral until they can pay him off. To Arthur's surprise he grows quite accustomed to living with John Marston and feelings start to bloom between them that he's never experienced before.





	Whiskey and Lime

**Author's Note:**

> A/N: Title comes from an alcoholic mix of whiskey and lime juice typically called a Snake Bite.

Arthur had never been much of a talker, he'd been sullen and withdrawn since he could remember. He'd heard reasons from other people, he'd thought of some himself. Maybe it was from the trauma of watching his mother be murdered right in front of him when he was six or perhaps his drunk and abusive bastard of a father had something to do with it.

He hadn't changed even in the time between running away from that household and living on the streets, pickpocketing and stealing where he could and being run out of different establishments because of it.

It must've been a little after his twelfth birthday when a man first touched him, he'd been on a bad string of luck. Plenty of stolen pockets done successfully but not much money put together, and the last one he'd been caught, beaten badly, and run out of town only to slump against a rock exhausted along the road.

Arthur never learned the man's name and the older he grew he would quickly forget the man's face, but never the experience. The man had offered money, good money for doing something young Arthur thought only women were supposed to do as long as he didn't bite and didn't report the man too well, anyone.

A growling stomach was all Arthur needed to agree, that was the first time he got on his knees for a man and considering the payoff it hadn't felt all that bad. Kind of disgusting and messy but he shut himself off to any other emotions coming from doing that and focused on the good, he'd been fed for a while and even bought himself a bath with the money he'd gotten.

Close to a year later was when he'd met Dutch and Hosea, tried picking their pockets and only been caught by chance. Instead of being turned into the law the two men thought Arthur was amusing, a bit forcefully for a while but they strung him along with them on their antics as they were getting their own gang put together.

He'd gotten himself attached to each of them after just a few short months as the men coddled him, treated him as their own son and taught him how to shoot, how to ride a horse, how to con people and steal more properly. He never went hungry while with them and the occasional praise or pat on the head was enough incentive to stick with them.

Even after hitting fourteen and being able to join their small but growing gang on actual jobs Arthur found himself following Dutch and Hosea around like a lost puppy, Dutch more often than not since he had more of a nose for trouble whereas Hosea took things slower. _A proper con takes time son_ the old man had always told him whenever Arthur started to whine.

It was also the first time Dutch has stumbled into his room late at night, wreaking of strong alcohol but knowing exactly what he was there for whereas Arthur, did not. "Dutch..?" he'd asked tiredly and rubbed his eyes, not that it did any good in the pitch dark but the man was mumbling something under his breath which was the only way Arthur knew who it was.

Arthur never knew if it was better or worse than the man who had paid him on the side of the road, that had been a stranger looking to evade the law and probably his wife and specifically pick a child. This was Dutch, partially drunk but still in the right mind, yet someone Arthur knew he could trust and loved even when he was forced to undress and keep quiet, even when he had a pillow shoved over his mouth when Dutch pressed forcefully inside of him and grunted on top of him. When Dutch muttered a woman's name over his skin that's when Arthur knew this was worse, but somehow he could never make himself be disobedient.

No matter how many times it happened.

 

 

A few years had passed, though still scrawny at the age of sixteen compared to a fully grown man Arthur had shot up like a weed and filled out slightly, he'd even started growing a few peach fuzzy hairs on his chin.

The Van der Linde gang had grown quite a lot and _had_ been doing well, that is until something went awry back in BlackWater. Arthur hadn't been on the job, he'd been...well behind the local bar getting paid well by a drunk man on his knees and then pickpocketed him for all he was worth.

No one wanted to tell him much and Arthur wasn't sure if it was because he was a kid or if they didn't know much more than he did, all he knew was the job to rob a boat had gone badly. He'd heard murmurs of Dutch killing some young woman aboard and that's where shit hit the fan.

It had been a month and a half since then, they'd been run out of Black Water completely and almost died going through the mountains. Many of them starving, exhausted, freezing, several dead and a few healing from more minor gunshot wounds.

Now their camp was perched along Horshoe Overlook far to the East of Black Water where no one knew who they were or what their gang had done in other places. Now that they'd started to get and feel settled Arthur felt more at ease, he'd been doing chores and helping around camp constantly and run himself ragged.

Everyone was finally starting to lighten up, joke, and smile, so early that morning he'd taken his bow and arrows and gone out hunting. The camp always perked up more when there was more food to go around and hunting could be relaxing, it would be nice to sit out in the woods and just listen to nature by himself.

He was pretty successful, he had a bag with two squirrels and a blackbird, a rabbit hanging off of his belt, and albeit with some trouble there was a decent sized doe Arthur was carrying over his shoulder into camp.

Arthur had been whistling to himself, expecting to be greeted for coming back by a few people and maybe Pearson eagerly taking the deer from him to start cutting into. Instead he saw everyone had gathered away from the edge of Horshoe Overlook and towards the other end where the forest started.

He could hear Dutch with a raised voice, just barely under a yell, as the rest of the gang was gathered and muttering amongst themselves. Carefully plopping the heavy deer down onto Pearson's table and dropping his bag of smaller critters down to the grass.

Pushing his way through the crowd Arthur looked between worried faces until he made his way to the front, Dutch had a younger man, maybe early to mid-twenties, grabbed by the neck and a knife threatening his chest.

The man was dressed well...normally, Arthur couldn't place him from anywhere specific like the O'Driscolls or Pinkertons, he didn't look like a lawman and lacked any shining gold star badge. "What's going on?" he asked some of the others finally.

"That man...he just walked right up to our camp saying he knew who we were, Dutch wasn't happy bout that of course." one of the ladies said back, "They've been yelling at each other about nothing for a few minutes now."

That would certainly continue if something didn't happen, that or Dutch would kill this man with the scars along his face and they would learn absolutely nothing from him. "I see." he sighed and readjusted the bow on his shoulder before stepping forward from the crowd and approaching Dutch from the side.

"Dutch, what's going on?" he reasked.

Suddenly the man's loud voice cut off and he glanced over at the teenager, "This bastard marches up to our camp like we're easy to spot and fucking starts threatening us, that's what Arthur!" If that was the case then it was a miracle Dutch hadn't killed the man already with his temper.

Finally the man with the scars broke Dutch's grip on him and took a step back, there was a gun at his hip but he didn't reach for it, instead held his hands up in a sign of peace. "I'm a well-known snitch to a lot of people in these parts, including sheriffs, bounty hunters, and some Pinkertons so if I suddenly go missing after passing through Valentine I'm sure it won't take long for one of them to sniff out your camp."

"You see-!" Dutch yelled with outrage and lunged forward with his knife until Arthur grabbed his arm to yank him back when no one else had the courage too, the boy glanced around and frowned. Where was Hosea when you needed him to reel in Dutch?

"He's not worth it Dutch, why don't we just sit down and talk this out? It wouldn't be the first time we've paid someone off." It was always risky, easy to be double-crossed but sometimes necessary, at least that's what Hosea told him.

With a smile the scarred man shrugged, "At least your boy has some sense." Everyone else dispersed leaving the three of them to go and sit in Dutch's quarters, Arthur hadn't been invited but he didn't trust these men alone. Someone was bound to get killed like almost happened before he walked up to intervene.

"So what exactly do you know about us then Mr...?" Dutch asked as Arthur brought over a few cups of water to quench their thirst on this hot day.

"Marston, John Marston. And I know a lot about all of yous, especially you Dutch Van der Linde. Most importantly I know all about Black Water which is your biggest worry right now, so I'm here asking to be paid off." he said casually and sipped at the cool water and eyed Arthur as the teen took a seat with them.

"Sour luck for you then seeing as we left all of our loot back in Black Water, we're barely getting back on our feet at the moment and haven't much to offer you Mr. Marston." Dutch said setting his drink aside and crossing his arms, hoping to dissuade the man away claiming they hadn't a penny to their name which was almost true enough.

"Then I expect to be paid in the near future." John said with a stretch of the arms and standing up, "In the meantime, I'll take collateral with me, just until I'm paid of course. Someone from the camp comes with me until then."

"Deal." Dutch said leaving Arthur wide-eyed and about to protest until there was a hand in his face to shush him, "Pick someone, everyone here can hold their own but I won't tolerate you mistreating any of my people. If I learn you've raped one of these girls or killed any of my men you'll have a bullet in your head faster than you can unbutton a pair of overalls."

"That's fair enough sir, I don't plan on any beatings or raping. Just someone as collateral and maybe to help work around my house. Other than that I promise they'll have a safe place to lie their head and food in their stomachs." John promised.

"Have your pick then, I can get everyone around to discuss-"

"No need, I already know who I'm taking." the man cut Dutch off, "I'll take this one." Roughly and without thinking John grabbed Arthur's arm and yanked him to his feet, with a gasp and pulling out his knife Arthur _almost_ stabbed the man until he heard Dutch's reply.

"Deal."

"What?" He was being traded away like a piece of the carcass at the market, even temporarily. If anyone Arthur had thought at least he would be off limits, he was young, they'd been together forever, he and Dutch they were...they were...well he didn't know what to call it but Arthur had always thought of himself as someone special to Dutch.

"Give me a moment to talk to the boy will you? He'll meet you out by your horse in a few."

With a curt nod and tip of his hat John let go of the teen and walked out of the tent, ignoring the glares in his back from the entire encampment.

"Dutch what the hell!?" Arthur hissed but felt all of his anger fade away as soon as the older man pulled him close for a hug.

"I'm entrusting this job to you my boy don't you see that? There isn't anyone else I would trust more to go with that idiot snitcher because I know you can handle yourself, I know that you can keep your mouth shut about our inner workings, _and_ I know you can even probably get some information out of him in the meantime. Please Arthur, do this for me?"

Well how the fuck could he say no to that? He sighed heavily and leaned into Dutch's chest, "Fine...I'll do it, but you'd better pay the man or kill him soon because I don't fancy being away from camp for very long."

"I'll do my best son, you have my word."

Gathering the few personal belongings he had Arthur said goodbye to not any of the camp members but instead to a few of the horses, he didn't have one of his very own yet but he'd grown close with a few from caring for them constantly. As if knowing one or two nuzzled him like a little goodbye, Arthur almost smiled but readjusted the bag on his shoulder and headed over to John's horse at the front of the camp.

"We gonna do this easy or do I have to hogtie you and bring you along damsel style?" John smirked and extended his hand to Arthur, reluctantly the sourfaced teen took it and was pulled onto the horse in front of John instead of behind. Great, just great, this ride was going to be extremely awkward and now there was a chance this man was a complete pervert and had chosen him for a very specific reason.

The ride is long but Arthur makes sure to memorize the route and landmarks every chance he gets, he's never personally been out this way so some of the new areas might not stick well within his memory but he tries. If he can just keep it memorized for a little longer so that he can jot it down in his journal then he won't have to worry about forgetting his way home.

John lives far from any type of civilization in a small wooded area that's next to a river, field, and in view of a far off mountain. It's picture perfect along with the small farm going on there that doesn't quite feel like John fits into place there knowing what he does for extra money.

By the time they arrive and John is putting his horse in the barn Arthur is already scribbling notes into his journal and mentally reminds himself to draw some of the landscape just for fun when the sun is out one of these days, it's already very low on the horizon and getting quite dark.

"I'll give you the grand tour in the morning, for now here's what you need to know-" John points out the outhouse and then two rooms next to each other. One obviously the man's and the other, much smaller but still clean and well kept, was where he'd be staying.

Looking around his room Arthur glanced at John, who had his arms crossed and was just standing there awkwardly, it clicked in the teen's mind what he was probably waiting for. Stepping over his hands went right for the man's belt and started unfastening it before his wrists were yanked away like a naughty child trying to play with fire.

"Woh there partner! What do you think you're doing?"

"Isn't this...why you picked me to come along with you?" he looked up at John not sure what to expect, he'd been so sure this was why.

"Look I know all about what you do in town, I've heard about that but it's not why I brought you. Main reason being, you're young and I can put a bunch of crappy chores on you without feeling bad like I would giving it to a lady or one of those old men." the way John said it left it completely unsaid but Arthur got the feeling there were other reasons as well.

To push aside the awkwardness in the air John smiled and teasingly grabbed Arthur's chin and flicked it to the side, "The fact that you're cute has nothing to do with why you're here, it's just a bonus for me to look at."

As John left him alone Arthur felt his face heating up and had to touch his cheeks, he couldn't remember the last time he'd blushed but then again it wasn't normal for anyone to flirt with him. Usually they just demanded what they wanted and didn't put in any actual effort.

 

 

After two weeks of living with John it had become quite clear to Arthur that they were playing a game with each other. He was trying to use John's attraction to him to his advantage to make the man more pliable and talkative around him, it was slowly working and he'd already learned the names of a few of John's other business partners.

John on the other hand was well, he was just being plain fucking nice. He'd drop a small flirt here or there but nothing overly sexual or demeaning, sometimes Arthur would catch him staring when he was doing chores around the farm with his shirt off. Somehow the stares never felt sexualized or dangerous to the young man, probably because John looked extremely embarrassed whenever he was caught like he hadn't realized himself that he was gazing out.

A few times the man had blushed, rubbed the back of his neck and walked away almost apologetically. Once that had made Arthur chuckle to himself as a warmth spread through his chest, blinking for a moment he had to steel himself and clear his throat before getting back to work. This was a job he had to remind himself, Dutch had picked him for a reason and he couldn't lose focus just because this man wasn't forceful about his desires.

they hadn't really talked all that much, a few passing quips here and there but nothing of too much substance, most of what he knew was from what he'd overheard John muttering to himself. A habit he tended to do while he paced around and was writing letters.

Sick of the silence by now Arthur asked over a lazy dinner of veggie soup the teen crossed his legs from his chair and swallowed down his mouthful before asking, "So where'd you get your scars from?"

"These old things?" the man unconsciously ran his fingers over said scars running down his cheek, "A few wolves got into my chicken coop once, got me right across the face when I went to check it out."

"Wolves in a chicken coup?" Arthur asked, disappointment obvious on his face. "But that's so..."

"Mundane, boring? I know but not every scar has a cool story kid. I've got plenty more with better stories to 'em." the man said as he went back to eating.

Lightening up Arthur smiled, "Really? Show me those then!" and leaned forward in his seat unable to hold back his excitement, he always loved hearing stories from people at camp and this was no different.

"Hah! No way, I'm not undressing just to tell you some old stories, some of those scars are in very...private places Arthur. Though I'm sure you would enjoy that." John winked.

A blush crossed Arthur's face and he glanced away with a frown before quietly muttering, "Shut up." Yes John was attractive but that didn't make Arthur weak, John was the enemy, a nice enemy but enemy nonetheless.

"What about you then Arthur, any cool scars and stories with 'em?"

Arthur shrugged, "Not really...I've got a bullet scar on my left ankle from a job, a few cuts here and there from junk, oh and I've got a stupid one on my right arm from a fucking _goose_ that attacked me while I was hunting!" he said and began to laugh just thinking about that day. Hosea had been showing him how to shoot birds when one of those nasty geese decided to take a munch on his arm ambushing him from the side, the old man had to save him from the bird with the way he was wailing.

John snorted and laughed deeply, "A goose? Yeah those fuckers are worse than wolves!" They laughed together and it felt nice, Arthur has no idea why that story had slipped from him but this was nice. Laughing together made him feel a little more like he was at home...home.

A sullen look crossed his eyes and his smile faded, he missed home. Being babied by the ladies there or getting into an argument with Pearson, doing jobs with Lenny or some of the others, but most of all he missed Dutch and Hosea.

"Y'alright kid?" John asked noticing the change in demeanor.

"Huh? Oh yeah, just thinking about camp...hoping they're doing alright without me."

Arthur hadn't even noticed whenever John had stood up and walked over to him, not until a hand was carding through his hair in an oddly affectionate way. "Don't worry Arthur, soon enough I'll get paid and you can go home, we'll never see each other again."

Unexpectedly that thought also sent strikes of sadness through his veins, even though this was a job, John was their enemy since he was blackmailing them, he still liked the man. He was clever and funny, kind in his own ways, and he kept to his word. If he didn't prefer to work alone he seemed just the type to fit in perfectly with their ragtag gang.

"I know." Arthur muttered and playfully swatted the hand away from his head, "You're going to be lonely here when I'm gone with no one to stare at or piss off."

"We'll see about that, I've been on my own for a long time."

That resonated with him, Arthur had been on his own for a long time and even when with Dutch and the others he still had to look after himself even if he had people watching his back. There wasn't a time in his life Arthur remembered being looked after like most normal children would be. "Me too." he said very quietly, then stood up and set his empty food bowl down.

"Did you say something?" John asked.

"Uh no I was just, muttering to myself." he answered slightly unnerved, he was too calm and unfocused around this man and tended to say things without thinking like John was a friend. Maybe Dutch shouldn't have trusted him with this, "I'm going to go feed the animals before it gets too dark out."

 

 

Another half a week passed by without incident, though every time Arthur glanced at John he felt something stir in his stomach and his chest simultaneously that he couldn't quite place. He'd thought it was just lust at first but he'd never experienced that with a tingle right in his chest that bloomed warmly every time, it had to be something else.

It didn't help that they had become quite a bit more comfortable around each other over just a few days, John playfully ruffled his hair often and Arthur usually retaliated with a roll of the eyes and elbowing the man in the side.

Arthur had felt it coming already but hadn't expected summer to hit so hard in a single day, waking up he'd felt the heat from inside his room and going outside was worse. It was humid as hell so he popped out of bed despite really wanting to lay there a bit longer, the animals were going to need more water in this heat.

Getting straight to work Arthur smiled to himself, he actually really liked doing farm work and dealing with the animals in this quiet environment. He brushed all of the animals before feeding and filling their water dishes, then he cleaned up the shit and watered the garden. By then he'd already taken his shirt off and felt beyond sweaty so he walked over to the side of the barn where John's water pipe was.

Even being very far out from the nearest city for privacy the man's farm had a cold water pipe for quick washes and taking care of the farm, he also had a brand new hot water heater for the bath that Arthur had yet to try. He felt that was getting too comfortable and spoiled to use so thus far he'd only been washing up in either the river or using the water pipe from the barn.

Letting two buckets fill up below him Arthur leaned into the water, it was freezing but it felt amazing on his hot skin as it rolled smoothly down his back.

A whistle made Arthur gasp and stand up straight, staring at John as he wiped the stray water droplets from his eyes and face.

"Not how I expected to wake up, finding all of the chores basically done and you...like this." the man crossed his arms and leaned his side against the barn with a hunger in his eyes.

Arthur turned off the flowing water as it pooled over the edge of the bucket and filled at their feet and then picked one up. "I figured the animals would need some attention in this heat...that's all." he said gently, holding the bucket to his stomach as that tingle rushed through him again as it had been lately.

"Thanks, I really appreciate it. I'm honestly surprised at how into this you are, I haven't asked you to do much but you're just...picking up on it." Pushing off the barn John stepped over and slowly lifted his hand to touch Arthur's chin, careful and not pinning the teen in anywhere and giving him lots of room to pull away.

He didn't, Arthur stayed still as fingers brushed over his chin as it still dripped a few stray water droplets, fingers touching over the very small fuzz of a scruff he had grown as their eyes stayed connected unable to pull away from the electricity between them.

"Arthur.." John murmured and leaned in as if to kiss the other until a bucket of cold water drenched him and Arthur laughed, taking a single step back. "I think the heat is getting to your head old man."

Standing there shocked and cooled off John pushed his long hair out of his eyes and started to laugh as he growled, "You little shit..!" He snagged the second bucket from the ground and threw the water all over Arthur, resoaking him as they both giggled like idiots.

Arthur started it, he dropped his bucket and shoved John, "You act like a child you know that John Marston?"

"You seem to enjoy it!" he declared back as that one little shove turned into a bit of a wrestling match with them landing in the puddles of water at their feet until Arthur was victorious or at least John let him win.

He straddled the older man's waist, hands held tight into John's soaked through shirt, "Maybe I enjoy it...just a little." Then he felt John starting to shift and prepared himself for another round expecting to be thrown under the man.

A kiss, that's what happened instead. It was soft and short-lived, just John cupping his cheek and pressing a kiss before pulling back enough to look at each other. Arthur's heart was thumping in his chest, he could never say it but that had been his first kiss ever and it had been stolen by this man threatening his gang's way of life.

The moment they were in

felt like everything around them had stopped, nothing else mattered right now, what difference would it make for Dutch and the others if he enjoyed himself here? He could afford to be selfish for a few moments. John was waiting patiently, rubbing his cheek with a thumb and seeking permission for more than just a peck.

Arthur leaned in but let John take control since he wasn't sure exactly what to do, lips met his in a sensual and slow kiss that he couldn't help but melt into and shudder when a tongue licked at his lips asking for entrance.

As the kiss deepened and sped up Arthur could feel the tent in John's pants pressing into his thigh, he was getting hot and eager too so he didn't blame the man. With heavy breathes he broke the kiss and smiled, "I don't normally do this for free." he said in a cheeky tone. Arthur was just trying to be playful to follow up with _but I can make an exception for you._

Instead the moment was shattered, strong hands grabbed his arms and manhandled him off of John's lap and into the water puddles as they were forcefully parted. "I'm not paying to fuck you." John said in a tone Arthur hadn't heard before, it was rough and angry as the man pulled away and stood up, adjusting his pants as the tent in them started to deflate.

"I-I didn't..."

"You what? Didn't think reminding me that you're a whore when you feel like it was a bit of a turnoff?" John snapped and glared down at Arthur who couldn't meet his gaze anymore. The man stalked away and Arthur couldn't find the strength to get off of the ground and shivered from the cold water finally sinking in even in the hot sun.

It was something Arthur tried to push to the furthest corner of his mind most days, that he was a whore. Even though the only person he'd ever let fuck him was Dutch that didn't mean using his mouth and hands didn't make him a whore. No one had ever forced him to go to town and offer up, but sometimes he just felt like he needed attention when he went with long periods without Dutch even looking at him like he was worth bedding.

He just wanted Dutch's attention and he would take the lesser kind from strangers when he could, the money wasn't what mattered to him but at least it would help the camp. The downside to it all was how dirty Arthur felt from it all.

It had occurred to him that maybe this was the reason Dutch had never kissed him or stayed with him in bed afterward, why things never progressed past a single fuck and then parting. Maybe Dutch was disgusted by him, he was after all just a broken young man worth nothing.

The camp didn't need him, Dutch didn't need him, no one did. That feeling began to overwhelm him as he sat on the ground and pulled his knees closer to his chest, he felt disgusting, sad, useless, and most of all he felt lonely.

He'd been getting too comfortable here again with John, letting guards down that he knew he shouldn't. At the first glance at how grotesque he could be John had shoved him to the side and fled no matter how much he tried to be useful around the farm and how much they'd warmed up to each other even despite the circumstances.

He wasn't sure how long he sat there but it felt like a lifetime before he stood up and quietly finished his chores at half pace. By dinner time either John had chosen to forget everything or he was feeling guilty over it, he tried to warmly touch Arthur's shoulders and offer him dinner.

Arthur only shoved the touch away, "Not hungry." before retreating to his room to put on some clean clothes and break open his journal. Flipping back to the first page when he'd arrived here Arthur smiled, he'd hated it here on the farm at first and hated John to boot, maybe his first instincts had been right.

There were well-done sketches of all of the buildings and most of the animals with their names scribbled next to them in poor writing fashion, then as the pages went there were less and less of the animals and more and more of John. John's words rang through his head from earlier and brought hot tears to his eyes that were begging to be released, he held them back with a few sniffles.

John knocked on his door twice before going to bed himself, offering each time for leftover dinner but was ignored each time. Growing more restless as the night went on Arthur just missed the camp, he'd grown to like this farm but that didn't mean he was used to it. Shuffling out of bed while the sky was littered with stars and going out straight to the big barn which held the horses.

There were only two at the moment but John had mentioned sometimes being paid with animals so he always kept space for more. John's personal horse, lazily named Old Boy, was Arthur's favorite and he couldn't help but to crawl into the horses stall and curl up in the bed of fresh hay in the corner ignoring the smell of horse in the barn.

Old Boy had woken from the intrusion but didn't kick up a fuss, instead he leaned and nuzzled through Arthur's hair before going back to sleep himself. It was a small comfort but a much needed one.

Arthur didn't get much sleep, he was woken up not two hours later when both horses were restless and whispered voices were right outside the stall.

"You're sure about this, you wouldn't rather with the pig pen? That would cost the bastard more money to replace."

"No, from what I can tell he's attached to one of these horses, if we burn the pigs he could still get some money from any salvageable parts." two men said to each other in hushed voices as Arthur started to peek over the stall door as quietly as possible.

The men had masks and in their hand's bottles of alcohol with rags in the tips, oh Arthur knew fully well what those were for. Silent as possible he opened the stall door and ushered the first horse out while the two men were discussing things near the back, then he crept over to do the same for the other horse only this time the door squeaked ever so softly. Usually unnoticeable except in the dead silence of the night.

"Someone's over there!" one of the men snapped and both ran at Arthur who had shoved the second horse to leave the barn and was grabbed by the nape of his neck. From habit alone he reached for his hips but found no knives, no guns waiting for him so he struggled and tried to yell.

The masked man who had grabbed him swore, "Shut up you little shit!" but his cries were enough to worry the horses outside that began to cry out louder and hopefully disturb John to the commotion.

"There wasn't supposed to be some kid here!" the other growled, "We need to shut him up so we can finish up here!" He grabbed Arthur by the shirt from the other man and threw him to the ground hard enough to slam his head down and lose all of his breath along with making his vision completely fuzzy.

HIs vision went completely black for a time but he wasn't unaware of everything, he could hear the horses startled outside and scaring the other animals, the men's voices were loud at one point but now gone, and the heavy smell of smoke filled Arthur's lungs as the barn caught fire.

As his eyes started to clear up again everything felt too bright, the fire was everywhere and his head was in agony but Arthur tried his best to push himself up but couldn't make it to his feet, he tried and stumbled falling back to the ground and coughing.

"Arthur! Arthur!" a voice pierced the flames.

"John...John!" he coughed and blinked his eyes rapidly trying to see past the fiery barn and look for John. He couldn't spot him as the smoke made his eyes worse and he had to clench them shut to make the burning ease. "John please!"

Gruff hands swept him off the floor and took him to safety of the cool night far from the barn near the pasture gate where all of the animals had been moved to in order to keep them safe from the fire to let it runs its course. Coughing again Arthur held into the fabric of John's nightshirt even through the pain of where the fire had licked over his skin.

"It's alright, it's okay Arthur I gotcha. Everyone's fine, all the animals, you, everyone's fine." was muttered but it sounded more like John was trying to convince himself more than anything.

 

 

Mostly delirious through the first day it wasn't until the second evening after the fire that he was up and really awake as John changed the light bandages around his arms. There were burns all over his skin that had been well cared for, nothing serious but they stung nonetheless.

"You're a fool...sleeping in the barn with the horses, I'd had no idea you were in there for the longest time." was the first thing spoken between them making Arthur feel even number internally than he had before.

When Arthur said nothing back he continued talking, "whoever burnt the barn down, it must have been someone angry about my little information business trying to get back at me."

"Two, there were two men." Arthur said with a raw throat.

"Look Arthur I'm sorry, I'm so sorry about everything. About you getting caught up in this stuff, being here and being in that fire when none of that has anything to do with you, and...I'm sorry about the other day." John had to take a pause and swallow hard, "I just said it at the moment, it wasn't true."

"Well maybe it was true, in my experience people say more of the truth when they're angry or sober than any other time." Arthur said back without making any facial expressions or even looking at John. "What does it matter anyway?"

"Of course it matters, I should never have called you that!"

"It...It really doesn't matter anymore." Sounding resigned Arthur slid down into the bed and turned away from John, "I'm going back to sleep now."

"Arthur please I-" but being ignored John sighed and ran a hand over his face, "Okay, sleep well." and leaving to make himself some food.

Arthur could swear he'd never felt so terrible in his life, normally either his body ached or his heart did, not too often at the same time or with such intensity. Before actually sleeping he scrawled down in his journal, _maybe it would have been better if John never found me in that fire._

Two days later Arthur felt fine enough to be out of bed but John had flat out demanded he do little to no chores, so without much to do the teen was sitting at the river bank fishing and sketching waiting for a bite.

Midday came faster than he'd thought, sun high in the sky when John took a seat next to him and held out a glass of water.

"I'm right next to a river you realize? I'm not going to go thirsty."

"Ah..." that obviously hadn't occurred to John but he smiled anyway, "I guess but if I didn't come by would you have remembered to take care of yourself?" There was no reply to that but Arthur knew it was true.

He drank from the glass and set his journal to the side. "Hey what's this?" John reached for it only to have it snatched back to Arthur's chest. "Don't just grab other people's things!"

"You're right, I'm sorry." John apologized and held his hands up for a moment, "I just haven't seen anything personal you brought with you, I was surprised. was that a drawing I saw in there? I didn't know you sketched."

Right now Arthur really just wanted to be alone, he hadn't felt right since the fire but he was keeping everything bottled up inside as best he could. "I do sometimes, here I don't care if you look at the sketches, just don't read anything."

John took the opportunity and started flipping through the pictures and skipping pages with writing, "Hey these are really good. Oh shit!" a smile spread over the man's face further, "Is this me?"

Arthur's eyes went wide and he dropped the glass in his hand to reach for his journal, "Stop snooping already!"

Leaning back John held the journal up as a tease, "Not snooping if you gave me permission kid! Hey come on you really captured my handsome devil side, I love it!" As the young cowboy crawled further, reaching farther to try and grab the journal he finally snagged it but only to be grabbed and pulled closer so that he was in John's lap fully now.

"You're an ass."

"An ass you apparently have several sketches of to remember him by. Though that doesn't compare to the near ten you've done of the horses!" John chuckled and pressed them close and leaned in searching for a kiss.

Arthur wanted to, he really wanted to kiss John again but his heart started to throb painfully and he turned his head away. "Hey don't be like that." John cooed and touched two fingers to the other's chin to turn them back to each other.

This time he fully shoved John in the chest to pull away from him and stand up, catching a sob halfway through his throat and feeling tears welling up against his eyes that he tried to hide. "Leave me alone fucking creep!"

John chased him as he tried to get away and called his name before grabbing his wrist and getting slugged in the face for it. "I said leave me alone!"

Holding his cheek John caught his upper arm this time, "Look if you don't want to kiss me that's fine but I know you're not okay! Just talk to me Arthur, let me help with whatever is wrong!"

Clenching his fists Arthur turned to glare down the taller man with great intensity, "And why would I do that? You come marching into my camp and take me to use as blackmail, keep me from my home and family, call me a whore and then come back for seconds! should I fucking go on!?"

"I'm sorry." John said instantly and dragged Arthur forward to hug tight to his chest, "I'm so sorry I know you have no reason to forgive me for any of that. You don't have to want to be here or around me, you don't have to want to kiss or sleep with me, I can deal with you hating all of that." his voice was gentle but stern, "I really have enjoyed having you around, what can I say? I like you."

He nuzzled the top of Arthur's head and listened as the teen tried to hold back a sob again. "I just want to stop seeing that sad look on your face, I want you to smile and make jabs at me again. Talk to me Arthur, I'm not going to sell your emotions to anyone."

With that he fully broke down into a sob and arms tightened around him, "I don't know, I'm just such a mess! I thought Dutch would have scrounged up the money to pay you weeks ago but every time you come back from town with letters there's nothing."

"Give him a little more time, I'm sure he's working on it every minute to get you back." there was something about John's voice during that which put him off but he decided not to worry about it right now. "Come on let's go inside." With an arm around his shoulders Arthur cried softly and followed into John's room where they could sit on the bed comfortably and out of the sun.

A hand running through his hair as he sniffled and John asked, "So you and Dutch are...like that then?"

"No...Not exactly. I sleep with him sometimes, when he wants to or drinks too much but he doesn't want me any further than that." He knew it, he'd always known that from the moment Dutch muttered a woman's name while they were having sex. He was just some easy substitution.

"But you love him?"

"I have no idea, the camp is the closest thing to a family I've ever known. I love them, I want to be part of it but I always feel like an outsider no matter how much I try or how nice they are to me on the surface. Hosea's the only one I feel like actually wants me around despite anything else." he said in a broken voice and trying to stop the waterworks, which wasn't going so well as fresh ones welled up again.

John moved to climb into bed and pulled Arthur to his shoulder to let him cry and be held. "Dutch was your first then? That's usually special to people."

"First and only." Arthur corrected, "And it wasn't special...it was actually kind of terrifying." he had the courage to say as fingers danced up and down his back. "But I...really did want to the other day when we were having a good time."

"You do realize how wrong all of that is right?" John's hold on him tightened and there was a certain something in his voice again that hinted at anger, but not towards Arthur. "I do, but I let it keep happening so it's kind of my own fault."

"It's not your fucking fault Arthur, how can you even think that?" he asked exasperated and kissed the top of Arthur's head, "I'll never understand people like you Arthur. People who grow up without a hint of it yourself but turn into the kindest souls I've ever met." Another kiss, this time to his forehead more directly.

"John." Arthur murmured and pulled back, wiping the last of the wetness from his eyes as he finally was calming down. "I want you, all of the time. I think about it every day, places that you could take me, what do you say about that?"

"I'd ask if you're really okay with that? So much has happened the last few days, today the most and I don't' want to take advantage of you and then you regret it."

"I promise I wouldn't, I want you so much John...if you'd have me?" this time taking charge Arthur leaned and pressed a light kiss to John's lips, "Do you want me too?"

"More than anything." John breathed out and pecked his own kiss against Arthur's mouth. "Let me go grab something, you get comfortable." he said purposefully wanting to give time for this to settle on the teen's brain so he had time to say no.

Still, John didn't take long and came back to the room. Arthur had his shirt off and was standing facing the bed, usually when he was told to get ready for sex Dutch wanted him to get undressed and bend over the bed so that's what he'd started doing. A pair of strong arms wound around his waist before he could take off his pants, "What're you doing?" was muffled into his bare shoulder as a few hot kisses planted there.

"Getting ready?"

"Maybe I wanted to undress you?" another kiss worked up his neck making Arthur shudder, "M'sorry."

"Don't be, I still get to do this." John whispered into his ear as hands moved from his waist and along his inner thighs and over the growing tent just above, then slowly tugging the pants off of his hips and down to the ground to let Arthur kick them off. "I need you so much right now."

"Don't worry, I'll take good care of you." John promised with a nip of Arthur's earlobe and gently pushed the younger forward onto the bed and grabbed his ankles forcing him to turn over onto his back so they were face to face.

Arthur's eyes traced every line of muscle and every scar as John undressed down to nothing and climbed over him to kiss him feverishly with heat and tongue. "You want to...like this?" Arthur gasped out between kissing, "I could mn-...turn around?"

"Then how would I kiss you? I wouldn't be able to watch your face when you scream my name." Blinking a few times John planted kisses down his lover's cheek and neck, "You are so cute, never done it face to face hm? I think you'll like it, just give it a chance."

John reached for the little bottle of what he'd brought up, Arthur couldn't read exactly what it was from the heat of the moment but it was something slick that was coated onto John's fingers and soon working him open with care as they shared kisses.

By the time there were three fingers Arthur had his eyes closed and his mouth hung open as he gasped from the thrusting but when John started stroking him he gently pried the hand off of him. "Don't! Don't if you do that I won-I won't be able to keep going!"

"I can't hold back much longer either." John said softly and kissed him one more time before taking his fingers out and lifting Arthur's legs to hook over his hips a bit higher. "There we go, tell me if I need to stop or slow down." he said before reaching down to guide himself slowly inside of his young lover.

The way John was it was completely different from how Dutch fucked him, instead of a hurried mess of thrusts only after his own orgasm and devoid of any connection this was warm, sweet and caring.

Arthur had never realized what a difference it could make facing your partner at least once to create that sort of bond while you had sex. When John thrust in harder it hit that spot deep inside of him that had been brushed before but never fully utilized that made his back arch and he had to grab onto John's forearms for support. "Fuck!"

He pushed his hips back against John's in a needy gesture, "Mo-More, right there!"There was no argument there, the thrusts were redirected to that spot and pounded into him, each one took him apart just a bit more as he couldn't control his voice and cried out from the pleasure running through him that brought tears to his eyes.

Normally he had to wait until Dutch was in the heat of things to sneak and touch himself to get off but this time he'd completely forgotten until the feeling welled up so hard with each thrust. He came without warning, his back arching off the hot bedsheets as he gasped and scratched his fingers into John's arms. "John- _fuck!_ "

"Oh shit!" John grunted back not able to last out much longer watching his lover overcome with pleasure and unloaded himself deep inside of him.

Catching his breath Arthur looked up at the man above him who watch him with worry in his eyes, worried that he might have let things go too far. For the first time since their fight Arthur smiled, he touched his hand to John's cheek with the scars and guided him down into a kiss.

"Happy?" John smiled back.

"Yeah...very."

Cuddling together Arthur couldn't keep the smile off of his face for once, they spent the evening in bed as the younger traced scars with his fingers and made John tell him the different stories behind them no matter how little or dull. They did that until they fell asleep together.

 

 

Waking up with someone holding you was something Arthur found he really enjoyed and would like to happen more often, the way John's arms were wrapped around him felt secure and safe and the man all pressed up against his back was comfortably warm. John was snoring softly into his bare and freckled shoulder.

"Hmm..." the man snuffled, stretched his legs, and groaned into Arthur's shoulder as he woke up just moments after Arthur had. "Morning." the man muttered without opening his eye so Arthur closed his as well, they just laid there for a bit enjoying each other's company

Arthur's eyes did flutter open when he started feeling peppered butterfly kisses along his back shoulder, not particularly sexually charged but more of a playful and sweet keen to them. "What're you doing?" he whined.

"Admiring your back, there's a lot more muscle than I expected but also a lot of sun freckles. They're cute." John smirked, Arthur had to bite his tongue not to say something back but pouted silently, "Hm..."

"So, I told you about my scars. All about my asshole Pa, that gang that got ahold of me once, some gunshots from my younger days and all, do I get to ask about some of these?" Warm lips pressed against the scarred skin in the middle of his back and he thought for a moment.

He didn't like to talk much about his own scars, most didn't have very fond memories but neither did John's. "Those are from when my Pa used to hit me with a belt." it was actually surprising there weren't more scars considering how often the man used to hit him.

"I get that Arthur, my Pa was no better a man, how about this one? Looks like a knife went through." John's hand touched just above his hip where an old scar was.

"I fucked up robbing a stagecoach, the driver got ahold of me and stabbed a knife right through my side. It actually wasn't that bad all considering, just ended up leaving a nasty scar."

"How 'bout this one?" a warm hand pressed over Arthur's chest, no visible scar lingered leaving the teen a bit confused. "what are you talking about?" He muttered and called John an idiot under his breath.

"Your heart, that's where you've got the most scars I can tell." Mostly because he was the same way, "Maybe sometime you'd share those with me too."

"No promises." shuffling himself around Arthur moved onto his other side to face John, their faces mere inches apart and both of their eyes soft towards one another and slowly they each closed the distance meeting in a gentle kiss.

The kiss grew heavy, staying slow but becoming demanding as Arthur coursed his hands through John's long hair to give a few tugs and broke the kiss to mutter, "I want...I want you."

"Tell me what you want and I'll do it." It sounded like Arthur wanted to try something a bit different so logically he asked, "Did you want to do the fucking?" he smiled and pecked a kiss to Arthur's nose.

"N-No." the younger mumbled, maybe sometime he would but right now he liked receiving at least the way that John did it. It made him feel taken care of and Arthur needed that, "I just want to um...like this.." without any force Arthur pushed John's shoulders to make him lay back flat on the bed and moved to straddle him, a prominent blush spreading from his cheeks down to his neck and having a hard time making eye contact. "Is this okay?"

Dutch would have never let them do this face to face, he would have never relinquished control in a position like this. John was different, the smile never left his lips and his hands came to settle on Arthur's hips, a thumb brushing over the knife scar they'd been talking about before. "You mean I get to be lazy _and_ have a nice view? What's not to be okay with?"

Maybe he didn't know it when agreeing but saying that meant so much to Arthur, he almost felt a few happy tears build up in his eyes as he smiled and let out a tiny chuckle. "You're such an idiot John Marston." Leaning over to kiss the man hands began to wander, half the work already done from still being naked from last night.

It was a tiring position, for once having to do most of the work and Arthur was now surprised and a bit admiring at how men could fuck the way they did, it was exhausting having two people's pleasure in your hands. Luckily he had John's hands to help him along as he gripped into the man's shoulders and they both moved together in rhythm that morning until they were sated.

When they finished it left Arthur shuddering in aftershocks, he sank down into John's chest as he road the waves out and calloused hands rubbed along his bare back. "I don't understand you." Arthur said muffled into John's chest.

"Don't understand me, or don't understand why you like me?" the man gave a snort.

"Both I guess. I should hate you but I'm finding it harder and harder to." Despite all the reasons he had to dislike John there were so many to like him as well.

He was a criminal but he steered away from hurting average people that didn't deserve it, then there was the fact that he was oddly kind to Arthur. That's what had initially sparked his like for the man and that only grew and intensified the more time they spent together, the more he got to know about John from little things like his scars or just the odd comment here and there.

"What is it that you like about me?"

"That's easy." John said with a light as feather tone, "You're strong as hell, even with everything you've been through and I'm sure there's more than I even know about. You're still strong and kind, I see the way you are with the animals and it's...shit it's adorable okay?"

It was true Arthur really had gotten attached to the animals and could pick each of them out easily at just a glance maybe even easier than John could.

"I think your sketches are really something too and I know it's personal so I wouldn't expect you to let me but I really wish I could read your journal."

With that Arthur's heart warmed along with his smile and any worry he had that John was just pretending to get into his pants was washed away. "Thanks John, I like you too."

Another week passed by, the two of them were busy with taking care of the animals but also starting to rebuild the barn that had been burned down so that the horses and larger animals had a bigger space than being cooped up where they all were together. They talked more, not about anything important but just about menial things and in that week they only had sex one other time, right up against the side of the new barn they were finishing up to... _test_ if it was sturdy. That was there excuse.

John never asked him to but a few nights Arthur had crawled into bed with him just to cuddle.

It was a warm morning and John awoke early to go start taking care of his farm but found most of the chores done and sighed to himself, "brat...this is my farm." in an affectionate way. Checking the usual spot in the new and half finished barn Arthur was sitting on a stool and sketching one of the milking cows who was relaxing in her pen.

"Mornin' Arthur, you know you can leave some of the chores for me one of these days."

"I was up early, and bored. Can I go with you into town today?" the younger asked without looking away from his work as his hand kept drawing, he'd been sketching more out in the open since they'd first had sex. Something he used to try to keep to himself in private as much as possible.

"Into town?" John hesitated, he was torn. Arthur was technically work and if for some reason he decided to run off on John there would be issues, but on the other hand he really did trust the teen's integrity and he wanted to make Arthur happy. "Sure, feeling cooped up on the farm?"

"Not really I just feel like buying something at the store." he did have a little bit of money on him from back home at the camp. "Are you worried I'm going to run away?" finally his eyes turned over to John and he stopped drawing, he wouldn't be offended no matter the answer, John had the right to be concerned.

"A little but for the most part I do trust you."

The nearest town was called Valentine, it was a good bit away and Arthur knew how to get back to camp from here but he had no plans to run off even with the small voice in the back of his mind telling him to.

"Meet me back at the wagon when you're done, I won't be too long." John promised and ruffled Arthur's hair affectionately and then brushed the messiness out of the youngers face before turning and heading to the post office. He had letters to send and collect for his remote work, he'd never been a very smart guy but somehow he made this information network give him a life that supported him financially while his farm kept him going mentally even though it didn't bring much money.

"Yes sir." Arthur smiled back and headed into the general store, he bought a few small things as he watched out the window until he saw John leave the post office and head down the street to go talk to a few local contacts. Walking into the post office he held a letter in his hands and walked up to the counter.

"Can I help you young man?" the worker at the counter asked.

"Yes um are there any letters for Arthur Morgan?"

The man checked and turned back, "Sorry no, nothing for that name is in."

"Alright, then could I possibly leave this letter here for someone-" the door behind him caught Arthur's attention and he lowered his hands hiding the letter as best he could from whoever was coming through the door.

"Arthur..?" an old and familiar voice sounded, "Arthur! What are you doing here?"

Turning on his heels Arthur smiled widely, "Hosea!" and rushed forward to hug the much older man and be held back.

"Careful there Arthur, don't crush your birthday present." they pulled apart and Hosea held up a small package, "Sorry I couldn't send it earlier, the camp has been very busy these last few weeks."

Holding the package close to him Arthur smiled widely, "Thank you Hosea. I miss you, I miss Dutch, the camp, everyone." The homesick feeling that had been easing way came back tenfold looking at Hosea and his urge to run away came to the front of his mind.

"We all miss you too, but we've got a big job coming up, one of the biggest. If things go right we'll be able to pay off Marston and take you back but also get us far away from this area and somewhere new. Just give us time please, I'm so sorry it's taken this long my boy." Hosea apologized and placed a warm hand to Arthur's shoulder.

"I trust you." the teen said back and shuffled the package in his hands to pull up the letter he'd been holding. "Actually Hosea there was something I'd like to talk to you about since you're here...it's...it's something I'm really not sure about."

"Arthur!" John came storming into the post office, an angry air surrounding him as he stared Arthur and Hosea down. "what the hell do you think you're doing?" He wasn't sure which of them John was talking about but he stiffened visibly.

"Please relax Mr. Marston, this was simply a chance meeting I-" he was cut off, no chance to use his conman sweetened words as John pointed outside, "Get in the wagon Arthur!" When no one moved John reached and grabbed him by the arm, "Better pay up soon old man, before I decide to just keep him." It was a threat, an angry threat that left Arthur with wide eyes as he was forced into the wagon and they sped off leaving Hosea behind with a worried and sad look.

When Valentine was far behind them Arthur glared over at the driver, "What the hell was that about John?"

"This is why you wanted to into town today? You wanted to sneak off with your old gang members or deliver some information in that letter is that it?" He'd never heard John this way before, so angry at him and a hint of fear shaking his voice.

"what? No that isn't it at all, John you're being an idiot!" he argued back.

"Really I am now? Because that's exactly what it looks like to me was happening!" John's voice rose again and his hands tightened so hard on the reins that his knuckles were turning white. For the first time since the early stages of them being together on the farm Arthur was worried that John might decide to hit him.

when Arthur was silent that only rose the tension and John opened his mouth saying something he knew he shouldn't but he would to get a reaction anyway. "I can't believe you miss that bastard fucking you so much that you're ready to go crawling back to him like this."

" _What!?_ " the teen gasped as his glare hardened. Fine if that's what John wanted to hear then just fine. "Yeah, you know I do miss it! Dutch knows how to take things he wants!"

The horses were pulled to a dead stop off the side of the dirt road and rough hands forced Arthur off and to the ground, one bunched up behind his neck and forcing him to stumble and walk into the thickly wooded area just off the road. "John? John what are you doing?"

"Exactly what you're asking for."

Far enough in and away from prying eyes from the road John pushed Arthur up against the thick bark of a tree and held him there while with one hand he began pulling their pants down to pool at their ankles.

"John? John knock it off I know you're angry but shit!" Arthur cried out and tried to struggle, he could probably get out of this if he tried hard enough, just like when Dutch did similar things, but he didn't.

"If you miss it so much then allow me to oblige." John grunted as he left them both naked from the waist down, "Stay." he ordered and released Arthurs neck to press his half erection and guide it inside of the younger man.

Arthur stiffened and was tight from lack of preparation and his mouth hung open as a pained groan escaped him, "John I.....Jo-John I...please.." The thrusts hurt, the scraped against all the old wounds Dutch had left behind mentally, he gasped with each movement until he couldn't help but start to cry.

John stopped immediately hearing that, something inside of both of them screeching to a halt and realizing what they were allowing themselves to do. They were on the fringe of breaking what they'd been building together.

"I can't, I can't do this Arthur I'm so sorry." he apologized and stilled but pulled Arthur to his chest to hold him close. "Are you alright?" and nuzzled his hair. "I'm so sorry..."

"Please don't stop." the honey blond teen said between his crying, "Keep going, I wan-I want you to."

"Are you crazy?" John murmured, "You're in pain."

"Please." he begged still.

John paused and pulled out and away leaving Arthur panicked, who turned and grabbed the man's shirt, "Please don't stop!" Calloused hands rested on both of Arthur's cheeks to brush away the tears, "Shh calm down I'm not going anywhere. I can't Arthur, I just can't really get it up when you're crying like this."

It wasn't meant to be hurtful, just soft and maybe a bit playful that tugged a tiny wavering smile on Arthur's lips as he sniffled and tried to will his crying to stop. "I know, I know you're not him I just-I really don't want you to hate me please."

"I don't hate you, I'm....upset yes, but I don't hate you." In fact his anger had stemmed from a place of worry over losing Arthur but he wasn't quite ready to say that. John fixed their pants and helped Arthur back onto the wagon before pulling him close as they started their journey back home.

"It really was an accident." Arthur said in a slightly hoarse voice as he pressed himself tightly to John's side. "I had no idea I'd see Hosea in town, I was just checking to see if anyone had left me something at the post office because it's my birthday."

"Today? How old are you?" John wanted to chastise Arthur for not telling him but decided against it after that whole commotion in the woods. "Let me guess, seventeen right?" the teen nodded back. "Then that-" he gestured to the package, "A birthday present from the old man?" Another nod.

"I feel like a fool now."

"You are one John Marston."

Most the rest of the ride was quiet until they could see the farm in the distance. "what did the old man get you anyways? No wait let me guess, a gun? Or a knife?"

"No." Arthur couldn't help but smile tiredly from the emotionally exhausting day. "How can you know, you haven't even opened it!"

"It's chocolate." the younger laughed, "Hosea always someone manages to get this for me on my birthday no matter where we are. It's a tough to find imported chocolate from somewhere in Germany." He looked down at the package fondly, "It's my favorite."

"Must be some pretty good chocolate then, I didn't know you had a sweet tooth."

 

 

Things between them were a little quieter that evening, a bit tense like they couldn't find the right topic of conversation so they just kept exchanging glances until it grew late. "Can I sleep with you tonight?" Arthur asked trailing along behind him to his room and set his bar of chocolate and letter down on the nightstand expecting the answer to be yes.

"Sure. Hey uh, I didn't know it was your birthday but if there was something I could do for you or get you I could-"

"I don't need anything because I'm a year older John, get in bed, I'm happy just like this." he promised slipping into bed himself and curling up against John's side.

The next morning John woke to a nice sight, for once Arthur hadn't woken up at the crack of dawn to go care for the animals and was still curled up in bed though not in his side anymore. The letter on the nightstand was right there and John had never been the smartest man so he reached slowly to pluck it from its place and unfold it.

_Hosea,_

_I'm doing pretty well considering the circumstances and I hope you and everyone are the same. I miss you all and the camp very much, more than I'm able to express in words but I have this dilemma that I thought maybe you could help me figure out. You were always the wise one in camp._

_I've been taken from where I consider my home but the man I'm living with isn't at all how I'd expected him to be. As much as I feel weird writing this, I like him, maybe more than that. I have these feelings towards him I've never had towards anyone else but I cannot for the life of me tell if they're genuine or if I'm in some stance of Stockholm syndrome._

_Not only would it be nice to see you but I'd like you to physically slap me upside the head to snap me back to my senses if I'm being a complete fool, perhaps you could make up an excuse to come visit the farm. I will leave you directions at the bottom of the note but please do not show it to Dutch or anyone else._

_John, though blackmailing us, is kind to me and I don't wish for the camp to come storming in and hurting him or the farm._

_Regards, Arthur M._

Was scrawled in messy but legible writing and just as carefully John set the paper back where he'd found it.

Arthur had feelings for him, ones that were very much requited but made this whole situation so much more complicated. John liked working alone, he'd been screwed over enough times that he'd fallen into this work because it was easy to cut ties with someone he couldn't trust.

Looking at the sleeping teen he reached and ran his fingers through the honey blond hair, Arthur was worth talking this out for. He really was. Perhaps he could make an exception in this case, tie himself to the Van der Linde gang so that Arthur could have his family and John alike.

Snuggling back into bed John wrapped his arms around Arthur to pull him close and closed his eyes, already mentally writing the letter in his head that he would make later and send off to Dutch requesting the man's presence on neutral grounds to have a chat.

"Mn..." Arthur groaned and tried to pry his eyes open slowly, "Mornin' John."

"Morning Arthur." he whispered and kissed the back of the teens head, "Stay in bed with me a little longer, then I'll help you with the chores."

At first John thought Arthur was getting up anyways but was happy to find that instead he was only turning around to hug up to John's chest. "Kay, not ready to get up yet anyway."

Yes, this was definitely worth hassle, Arthur was worth far more than that.


End file.
